Pressing on when life gets just too damn overwhelming.

Remaining true to your values even when life is getting just too damn overwhelming.

Disclaimer: I have written, edited, rewritten, edited again, and changed this article so many times since the initial election results. Because of this, I am going to have two parts of this blog post. One part that will be about the time from the initial election results up to the inauguration, and the second part focusing on how things have been going since January 20. I figured this would make it easier for people to understand what I am writing than me trying to go back and edit content that I wrote back in November or December trying to incorporate recent events, that may muddle up the rest of the message. That being said, if things still feel confusing to you, feel free to reach out to me and ask me any questions, I’m not running Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, I’m more than happy to talk with almost anyone about myself and my personal values.

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Before we begin, let’s set the mood with a nice soundtrack for all of us to gather around the listening circle to:

I won’t try to sugar coat it folks, life for a lot of us (at least here in America) has been an extremely stressful and trying time. I can’t say that I am surprised that this is how things have been recently, not only since January 20, but also since the results of the most recent Presidential election were revealed back in November. A plurality of America chose to elect a collection of clowns to lead our country, so what other result could there be but a complete circus of chaos, blatant hatred, and way more fascism than I would care for (my ideal amount of fascism in the world is none personally). I cannot speak for everyone, but for myself, the weeks since the November results has been a mixture of heavy emotions, physical illness (both seasonal nonsense and resurgence of chronic health crap) for my immediate family, as well as an absolute drain on my internal capacity to be patient, compassionate, and loving with my fellow human beings, both in-person and online.

In my personal life, the stressful roller coaster mainly consisted of navigating the usual holidays and family events that regularly happen in the later months of the year, all of which consisted of increased levels of social contact with other people that was a drain on my internal neurodivergent heart and soul. My fellow members of the neurodivergent tribe know what I am talking about. Because of this, there were plenty of times that I had to try and carve out blocks of time for myself to decompress and recover, so I could better manage future interactions with family. Additionally, there were also plenty of interactions with some extended family members where my own personal values of being compassionate, loving, understanding, and patient with others were put to the test when they were boasting and bragging obnoxiously about the election results.

In the myriads of professional circles I am a part of, I kept finding myself incredibly disheartened by the number of individuals in my profession that reported that they voted for the candidates promoting a platform of hatred, as well as the individuals who made the choice to not vote at all. I realize that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, principles, and choices, and of course I want everyone to vote for the candidate that they want. It just breaks my heart to see people who participate in the same profession that I do, a profession that is rooted in the core idea and principle of helping and supporting people; end up making the choice to vote for a group of candidates who would actively disenfranchise, ridicule, victimize, and hate so many human beings. As for the individuals who chose to abstain from voting, I again recognize that they are entitled to their personal choice, but I strongly hold to the belief that not standing up and advocating for the beliefs, principles, and standards that matter to you is letting the world know how empty and hollow those beliefs are when they are put to the test.

I’m sure from the above paragraphs I have written, it is probably not that hard to guess what candidates and/or policies I voted for on the ballot I received (spoiler, I voted for the ones that supported, advocated, and cared for people). Now I recognize that there are a lot of therapists in my profession that feel it is important to share as few details about themselves as possible while administering therapy with their clients. I have opted instead to go down a different path in my personal therapeutic orientation. The majority of prevailing academic research has shown that the primary factor that determines the treatment outcomes of clients, more than the therapy modality or therapist level of experience, is the therapeutic relationship that exists between the therapist and their client. In my personal humble opinion, I feel it would be difficult to establish, nurture, and maintain a strong therapeutic relationship with my clients if I am choosing to be a blank slate that reveals as little as possible about myself and my personality with my clients during our sessions. In my career over the past decade across a diverse number of levels of care, I have always felt comfortable with my clients knowing who I am as a person, especially if those glimpses into my personal life can help illustrate and drive home the qualities and lessons I advocate for in both individual and group therapy.

The election results from the 2024 election process, as well as the results themselves, were incredibly hard to process for not only myself, but also for my family and many of my close friends and loved ones. In more ways than one unfortunately, the results simply were not the outcome that we were hoping for. I often do my best, both in my personal and professional life, to try and mentalize and understand the point of view and actions of other individuals, but the election results were one that I had a difficult time making sense of at all. No matter how hard I tried, I could not come up with a reason for why so many people, especially the ones I knew on a personal level, could choose such a vile, petty, hateful, and honestly pathetic man over an incredibly qualified woman who would have done great things for all of our country, unlike the candidate who won unfortunately (just look at their time as the 45th president if you need proof sadly).

No matter where you happen to fall on the political spectrum currently, I feel like all of us can agree that the political divide in America (as well as an alarming number of other countries in the world) has gotten considerably wider, as well as extremely more volatile and heated, not only for this most recent election, but for almost all of the presidential elections I have been fortunate enough to get to participate in once I was old enough. Because of this divide, I am opting to not go into a lot of specificity in regard to my individual thoughts and feelings about different candidates any more than I already have (regardless of the party designations next to their names), as well as not diving further into my thoughts about different policy positions that have come up during this election cycle (mainly because it would take forever to get into those topics, and would probably turn this already too long blog post into a short novel, as well as distract from the main focus). If you are reading this post and find yourself curious about where I stand on specific policies/politicians, please feel free to reach out to me and ask (respectfully, preferably). I am more than happy to talk about them with you. You can reach me via email here

In a similar vein, I also think that it is of a paramount importance that the clients I work with (both past, present, and future) to have at the very minimum a general idea of where I stand on certain issues, and the principles/values I hold dear to my heart. Not because I feel like every client that I work with in therapy needs to adhere to the same values, principles, and/or morals that I do, but because of the strongly held notion that I mentioned earlier about the utmost importance that the therapeutic relationship has in relation to the client’s overall growth, development, and progress in their therapeutic journey. In my professional work in the mental health field, across a wide assortment of levels of care and treatment modalities, I have had the absolute privilege to have been able to have incredibly productive and meaningful working relationships with clients from all parts of the political spectrum. From the absolute staunchest red-blooded conservative types to the most die-hard crunchiest granola brand of liberal hippies. I have also had a wide assortment of the same spectrum of clients that have had a difficult time connecting with me as a therapist and often felt like a mismatch for one reason or another. As I am sure many of my colleagues in this profession can attest, these things just happen sometimes, and when they do I try my best to not take it personal, reminding myself of the importance that the relationship has, as well as the idea that just because a client and myself are struggling to connect in a meaningful way does not necessarily imply anything negative about myself (or the client either). It just was not a good fit, which happens sometimes in therapy. In those instances, if I can do so, and the client requests a change, I do my best to help them find therapists that I feel like will be a better fit for their needs and wish them nothing but the best moving forward in their therapeutic journey.

As I am sure many of my clients can attest to, one of the principles that I advocate for passionately in my work is the importance of establishing and developing a personal values system and then making as strong an effort as possible to engage in actions and behavior that are representative of those values. For an individual to do so, they also have to practice making internal space and accepting the uncomfortable thoughts and emotions that arise when they attempt those behaviors. That is one of the reasons that led me to write this post in the first place, as well as a guiding principle for how I attempt to lead my life, both professionally and personally. This guiding principle is also a factor for why I have found myself struggling to cope with the results of the 2024 election. Some of my most dearly held values that I have tried my hardest to manifest in my life is to be compassionate (both with myself and with others), as well as doing my best to be as generously curious as I can about why other people make the choices that they make in their lives. Like I mentioned earlier, the 2024 election results have put both of my core values to the absolute test. No matter how hard I tried, I could not find a way to be gracious and understanding for why so many people chose to vote the way that they did in the past election. As a result of this discrepancy and internal struggle, I have also been finding it increasingly difficult to continue to press forward and do my part to engage in my life in a meaningful and earnest manner.

I won’t lie to you dear reader. There have most definitely been plenty of instances since the election results where I have been feeling deep and powerful feelings of frustration, anger, and sometimes even disdain towards the people chose to vote the way that they did. Shamefully, I have also found myself experiencing a considerable amount of schadenfreude, or delight in someone else’s misfortune when I think of the possibility of some individuals receiving exactly what they voted for. Unfortunately (at least for the more vengeful/spiteful side of my internal Jared), being a mean, hateful, and/or cruel person is not in accordance with my personal values that I want to exhibit in my life. This means attempting to do my best effort to be compassionate, caring, and understanding towards all of the individuals I find myself interacting with, especially those who hold different beliefs and/or come from different walks of life than my own. This is also one of the primary aspects that led me to write this post, to hopefully demonstrate to others, and if I am being completely transparent with everyone, remind myself about the utmost importance of always trying to act in accordance with your personal values system, especially in moments when life makes it difficult to engage in those actions.

Right now, acting in accordance with my personal values can mean a wide assortment of things. What I have landed on currently in this moment in time (but admittedly I reserve the right to change my mind in the future if necessary), is that acting in accordance with my personal values means actively working to protect, care, and provide for the people I care about, as well as doing my best to support them, even if that person has beliefs or principles that are different from my own. Probably especially when they have beliefs and principles that differ from my own. While this choice to behave in accordance with my personal values may mean sometimes having to be compassionate and caring towards people that I do not agree with, it will never mean forsaking the individuals around me who I could use my own position and privilege (admittedly unearned or deserved by me) in society to help advocate, support, and ultimately show love towards with my actions. The reason for this is because our values only matter when they are intentionally paired with actions that represent those values. I will do my best each day to earnestly support the notion that all people in this world, not just Americans, as well as not just Americans who look like me or share my beliefs, deserve to live a vibrant, full, and meaningful life. Those lives also deserve to be free of the hate persecution, and violence that is unfortunately all too common in this day and age.  Sadly these negative qualities also appear to be deeply incorporated into the heart and soul of the upcoming administration. If you need proof of that, just take a look at the Project 2025 plan, and the spite and hate that is built into practically every page of it. I’m aware that I am only one person, and that my actions and efforts can only do so much, but I want to hold fast and true to the belief and knowledge that no matter what I tried my absolute fucking best each day to live in accordance with my values, independent of the obstacles (both internal and external) that may present themselves, as well as remaining steadfast in the presence of any adverse thoughts and opinions that other individuals may have about me as I work earnestly to be the most optimal version of Jared that I can be each day of my life. I would like to think I am not the only one who wants to put love, compassion, and support out into our precious world (and only one we have) each day, but even if I am, fuck it. I will still do my best to stand resolute each day and try to make a difference, even if it is just for a miniscule number of people each day. If that is all I am able to accomplish each day, I hope I am able to at least make those individual’s lives that much better if possible.

My heartfelt apologies go out to anyone who this post may have bothered or upset, but as I wrote earlier, I fully believe with every part of my heart & soul that it is the right thing to do to share the most genuine and authentic version of myself, especially in my personal role as a therapist during this uniquely chaotic time we all find ourselves in unfortunately. Ever since the results of the election were finalized, that authentic version of myself is also one that consisted of multitudes and was filled with frustration, confusion, and anger along with the usual compassion, love, and support that I normally try to practice regularly. Despite these complexities that I am struggling with at times, I have also been someone that is trying their best to progress and turn a corner towards using those same intense and powerful emotions to fuel a better version of myself, a version that will hopefully inspire and help to create a better world in the future, not just for the people who think like me, but for every one trying to get by each day as best they can.

Finally, if you are one of my clients (past or present), or even someone who is potentially considering working with me in individual therapy, and you are offended or upset by what I wrote today (or honestly any other content I share previously or in the future), please feel free to let me know. I have absolutely no problem exploring these topics with you in more detail, and if you still feel strongly enough about it, I am more than willing to assist you with finding a therapist that you feel more comfortable with if that is your preference. I promise that you will receive absolutely nothing but love, support, and well wishes from me if that is the route you choose for you and your treatment, because my sincere hope for absolutely every client I have ever worked with is that they are able to find the growth and improvement they most need and desire from their therapeutic journey, which also sometimes means that I am not the best therapist for their specific needs.

Alternatively, if you read this post, and feel like my beliefs and principles are something you can really connect with and you think that working with me for individual therapy might be beneficial to you, please feel free to reach out to me to set up a brief intake call, or maybe even go ahead and schedule an initial therapy session. You can reach me by email, or feel free to check out my website to learn more about me, the types of therapy I practice, as well as my main areas of focus as a therapist.

That wraps up part 1 of who honestly knows how many parts of my collection of posts focusing on the importance of continuing to press forward and acting in accordance with your personal values, even when life, the universe, and the chaos surrounding it makes it increasingly more difficult to do so sometimes. Until next time dear reader.